Ok so I sit here and ponder thoughts of when the feelings ruled your life. I cant think of any, but three of the greatest loves of my life. So my very first love was one of those loves where everything seems right at the time, but as time goes on you grow to know each other and everyday becomes a happier one, because when you look in that persons eyes you know what true and real love is. You cant wait to get home from college or work because you want to wrap your arms around that person and tell them that you missed them so. And they look in your eyes and tell you how verfy much they love you. You are filled inside and outside with one thing, Joy and happiness. Then somehow a dark, very dark cloud enters ur life, and things are said that you never wanted to hear in your ears or come out of your mouth. You sit and try to reclaim the past just to realize if you would have said "baby I love you, lets work this out by talkin" things might have gone sweeter. But you didn't say that because what you were hearing was the devil in your loves soul....the words you were hearing made you burst into tears, and you just wanted to die right then and there. You wanted to run or go to sleep and pray that GOD would make it go away. But you face reality and grab your things and go. Yet you return many times to try to work things out but they dont work out, and finally after 2 years of mental, and emotional abuse you let go. You try to dignfy your life, and make it worthwhile...You think love has left you and you'll never find it again, then one day , a perfect man walks into your life. He makes those memories of the past and becomes your confidont, your streghnth, your power, your love. You hang on trying to figure out where this whrilwind of feelings is coming from..You deny your in love yet again, thinking god only lets you truly love one person in ur lifetime. Your scared to feel again, but yet you open the possiblity of love..You feel it, touch it, want it, crave it. And finally you admit that what you feel is love. You embrace is with all you have. Then one day you realize your just a "Great Friend" to that person. They love you but not the kind of love you feel...So you go on, pretend your happy, while all the time your dying inside as each day goes on. But you have learned how to ignore the love because you had a prior experience to this. So your always there for the person but you move on in hopes to find that one person you can love forever. As days turn into weeks that turn into months, that finally reach a years end, you find yourself confiding in one person, you never thought you would love. But yet again this person doesnt know that deep in ur heart you yearn to show them what love is...when they cry you cry, when they hurt you hurt, when they are happy you are happy..yet again it isn't enough to make it a complete bond..after many many horrible nights, confused days, you realize in the final year that once again you have found a great love. But the fact remains they love another. So you try to be happy..and you are because you have that special bond that makes a true friend. You love being with them, you love makin time for them in ur life. You sit at home, work or school, and you think wow this is one person worth loving..God has gave me one more chance. But it is not workin. They are leaving your life, so you make the best of what you've got.. After awhile you want to know why God has put these people in your life, if you cant love them..or have them to love, and you come up with one thing and one thing only, *YOUR GREAT LOVE, IS HELPING THE ONES YOU LOVE, LOVE BETTER*